Kos has a great comparison of both conventions line-ups with a little of 'da funny.

Republican National Convention
Monday
(not televised by networks)
John McCain -- target of vicious Bush attacks in SC in 2000, gay, er, tolerant, war hero
Rudy Giuliani -- serial adulturer, pro choice, gay friendly, did not serve
Michael Bloomberg -- unpopular NYC mayor, pro choice, gay friendly, did not serve


Tuesday
Arnold Schwarzenegger -- sexual harrasser, pro choice, gay friendly
Rod Paige -- secretary of education, did not serve
Laura Bush


Wednesday
Zell Miller -- GA senator, turncoat, vet
Dick Cheney -- War coward. Eats babies. Shouldn't he headline the evening?
Lynne Cheney -- author of steamy anti-men lesbian romance novels.


Thursday
George Bush -- GOP prez nominee, hid in TX ANG during Vietnam, went AWOL, falls off bicycles.
George Pataki -- NY governor. Pro choice (at least rhetorically), gay friendly, did not serve

Democratic National Convention
Monday
Bill Clinton -- former president
Jimmy Carter -- former president, vet
Al Gore -- popular vote winner, 2004 presidential election, vet


Tuesday
(not televised by networks)
Theresa Heinz Kerry
Ron Reagan -- Son of Pres. Ronald Reagan
Barack Obama -- Future senator, future president


Wednesday
John Edwards -- NC senator, VP nominee
Elizabeth Edwards
General John Shalikashvili -- former chair of Joint Chiefs of Staff


Thursday
John Kerry -- MA senator, prez nominee, war hero
Max Cleland -- Former GA senator, war hero
Vanessa and Alexandra Kerry